Beyond the To-Do List

However, if you've been planning, goal-setting, and using a "to-do" list for a while, your goals may have gotten bigger, your efforts may have gotten more focused, but you may find you're struggling to achieve the kind of results you're looking for. It may be time to live "beyond the to-do list".

Now, this doesn't mean giving up your planning or long-term objectives. It does mean looking at what's underneath those objectives and learning to let go of exactly what the interim (or even eventual) picture might look like.

We get stuck because we're limiting ourselves to a particular idea of what "success" will look like for us in whatever area we've got a goal in. Rather than keeping the bigger picture in mind (that is, what achieving this goal means for us), we're only focusing on the goal itself. The specific goal, though, may not be the only way of reaching that "success". We struggle and push and get frustrated because things aren't proceeding as we believe they should, especially when we're really applying ourselves, really "working it". Why isn't our hard work paying off?

Here's the way I've been learning this. For months, I had a goal to attract a particular number of clients to my coaching business. I was doing all kinds of things to reach that goal: e-newsletter, teleclass programs, networking, website updates, speaking engagements, and more. I was really going for it! But the clients weren't materializing. I tried and tried to figure it outwhat was I doing wrong, what was I missing, why wasn't it happening? I tried this, that, and the other thing.

I was so frustrated about how I wasn't accomplishing my goal, and it colored all that I did. Slowly, I came to accept that what I was doing was good, but if I wasn't succeeding, I'd need to do something completely different than what I'd been trying. I'd been reading (and, embarrassingly, teaching) about how acceptance and surrender (not in a passive, but an active way), can open your eyes and mind to new options for success that you were blind to when you were working with your goal-oriented blinders on.

It was time to realize that all I'd been doing was good, was not in vain, was essentially planting seeds. I had to accept that my belief that I would be successful, my intention to have that success, and the actions I was taking would all be enough. I had to let go of how it had to happen or when, and just trust that it would. I needed to train my attention on my blessings, victories, and my own gifts in a moment-to-moment way.

Since nothing else had worked for me so far, I figured it was worth a try. And for a linear, results-oriented person like me, that was quite a challenge!! (and is, by the way, one I still at times find difficulty in reconciling myself with!)

While I'd read about results others had experienced "letting go" of how things will unfold, it was kind of scary doing it myself. It's entirely counter to what we've been taught about how to get what you want.

Here are my results: I've been asked to participate in programs and initiatives of one of the largest coach-training organizations in the world, working closely with their leadership. This not only gives me the visibility and credibility I've been seeking, it puts me in the path of new opportunities as they develop.

More to the point, some of these roles not only bring income, they provide evidence that who I am, my abilities, the way I conduct myself is recognized, acknowledged, respected by people that matter to me, which just filling my coaching business with clients couldn't give me.

What are you struggling with, pushing for, frustrated by? If your efforts at resolution or progress are stymied, might it be time to take off your blinders?

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